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BUGLE BLOG, 23 APRIL 2008
The Greatest Email Ever Sent
Good day to you Buglers, and welcome to a special edition of the Bugle blog, the famously irregular posting which keeps the world on the tenterhooks on which it truly belongs.
This blog is a genuinely momentous moment in the history of literature, because contained within it is the full, unexpurgated text of the torrential cascade of abuse hurled at us from the monumental keyboard of ‘Wil, Indy’, as featured in Bugle issue 24. For the sake of generations present, future and past, we have left all errors of spelling in their pure, unamended state, just as Vitriolia, the ancient Roman goddess of uncomplimentary and rancorous correspondence, clearly intended it to be viewed.
We still know not whether the gentleman or gentlewoman responsible for this is attempting to spark a global revolution through a hidden code within the text. If you believe this to be so, please hand the email and yourself to your nearest peace enforcement authority.
Perhaps he or she is in the pay of a Bugle-fearing government, of which there are literally thousands (as evidenced by the total lack of supportive emails from world leaders, or even from world leaders’ secretaries). Or maybe this email merely illustrates the cruel workings of destiny. We may, and will, never know.
Whoever he may be, ‘Wil, Indy’ is truly a force to be feared, respected and feared a bit more – not only for his capacity simultaneously to glorify and desecrate the English language, nor merely due to his ability to discharge hitherto unimagined concentrations of bile through the medium of an unintelligible yet patently splenetic diatribe, but also for having the courage, the bare-faced balls, the unvasectomised cojones, to be open and honest with the world about how he feels about The Bugle.
So please, make yourself a crumpet (or even a full-scale crump, or an American-named snack if the crumpet is alien to you and your people), brew yourself the most aggressive available flagon of tea, strap yourself into a secured bath, and enjoy the rampant wildfire that is ‘Wil, Indy’’s contribution to the canon of great human prose.
From: CENSORED FOR REASONS OF PUBLIC SAFETY
Sent: 07 April 2008 19:20
To: The Bugle
Subject: Giggle Toffs

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Is Britain ruled by Sharia Law nowadays? I am not sure I understand one word of the e-mail but the trouser flea is a good one! Cretin is used a lot in latin countries CRETINO! Brilliant, but this Indy chap is no Latin otherwise he would also have insulted your Mothers and Families....next time?
maddison, vedra, spain
I DO so love that email but I have to figure that he doesn't get invited to alot of garden parties. Just wanted to say thank Allah for the Bugle. I listen to it every day on my way to work and on my way home (I have alot of catching up to do) here in Hong Kong.
LOVE LIVE THE BUGLE!
Gary, Tsim Sha Tsui, Hong Kong
Brilliant e-mail thanks for sharing. If it speaks perhaps you can add him/her to the Bugle staff as a cultural correspondent!
Dave, New York,
Bugler from China. I wish there were no language barrier so that a good deal of the 1.4 billion would find joy in Bugler.
Jenny Zhu, Shanghai, China
Maybe he meant "tres funny"?
After all, he does write "I DO find humor in the behaviors of typical Euro cretins". Adding 'cretin' is, admittedly, not a good sign, but that's also French, and implies that your alleged stupidity is due to a congenital birth defect of the thyroid - so not all bad!
Dr. Chiles, London, England
I must agree with Brooke of Birmingham. I know that many Indianapolis residents call our beautiful city by the petname of Indy. I believe that this genius Wil must be a live in the Indianapolis area, and by my count there are only 48 people in Indianapolis named Wil. John should hunt him down!
Reid, Indianapolis, USA
I discovered The Bugle just 2 weeks ago & have been spending so much time listening to all the back episodes. Now that I have to spend 6 days in a week waiting for the next Bugle, can you please update this blog a bit more often to prevent me from committing mass murder out of sheer boredom? Thanks!
sharon, Hong Kong, Not UK any more
This must be the longest clue for a cryptic crossword ever and still I don't know how many letters I'm supposed to use.
Jeff, Frisco,
Wil Indy is a literary genius. My brain feels the way it often does after reading a few pages of Gertrude Stein.
Alexis, Seattle, USA
"Socialist hate cheese"! Oustanding! I've no doubt that Sir Alan Sugar himself will pick up on the idea very soon. I imagine that it's either for socialist haters or socialists who hate things or possibly both. Whatever, it's definitely the best cheese related idea I've heard for age - WTG Wil!!
AndrewC, Newbury, England
i am pretty sure proteins would help build brain tissue a lot more than vitamins
adam , washington dc, USA
I think Wil Indy makes some very good points. We are committing cultural suicide in this country, and the only things we will be allowed soon will be those permitted under sharia law. I shall keep trying to be proud of this country. I hold out ever dwindling hope.
Colin Adams, Telford, United Kingdom
It kind of reads like a back translation from Google but then you have moments of sheer comedic genius such as the aforementioned flea who dwells in a place, and so should it forever be, shrouded in darkness. No machine, no matter how highly developed could ever be such a humorist non plus ultra
bil, Berlin,
Discovered the Bugle a few weeks ago and listen to an episode every day. However, now that I had caught up I have nothing to listen to 6 days a week.
Please start broadasting the Bugle everyday except Holidays.
PS Will notify you when I am on Holiday.
Paul K Auger, Bridgewater Massachusetts, USA
Hello Andy and John, I just listened to the pope podcast while walking my dogs in the park this evening and eventually I took a wrong turn and was lost and as it was getting dark even you two abandoned me but while it was going on I very much enjoyed John paying homage to the pope
Diane Sanders, Strongsville, OH, USA
John, Andy, I really have no idea what he, she is talking about. You guys are very funny. Especially episode 22. Sorry to say i missed Ep.23. I'll listen to 23 and 24 tonight. Please keep up the good work.
Connor, Fairmont, USA
Shame on your attempted humorical behavior and overconsumption of socialist hate cheese. I suppose its time to admit defeat and hand your podcast over to the new funnyman, Wil Indy.
will, Wenzhou, China
"Bum dwelling trouser flea" might be the greatest insult EVER!!! As a nightclub manager, I deal with people on a regular basis that are in nedd of a good put-down. I think I have found a new one.
Kudos to you, 'Wil', and thank you John and Andy for sharing this little gem.
Tracey Allan, Manchester, UK
This worried me at first, as Wil's letter reminds me of a mentally ill relative of mine. Then I realized that if he is like my relative, he likely thinks that as comedians you may be laughing at him on the outside, but you surely MUST be dreadfully hurt and crying on the inside!
Damiana, Chandler, Arizona
There is nothing that is not awesome and powerful about this email. Perhaps Oily and Schmaltz would consider patching things up with this fellow by giving him his own part of the show?
I'd like to hear "The Angry Corner with Wil" every now again--just to break up our meetings with The American.
Kim, Atlanta, USA! USA! USA!
I think the Indy part may be either Indiana or Indianapolis.
that is like witnessing someone perform real magic....amazing.
Brooke, Birmingham, Alabama
This is stranger than the audio cryptic crossword.
Amy, Pittsburgh, USA
Is this the W in GW Bush?
Tim, London, Ruined