So, Dr Spurious Advice counsels couples NEVER to lie...I wonder just how many relationships will last the course once a husband tells the truth about whether his wife's bum looks big in this and his wife is equally truthful about whether her husband really is the biggest and the best of her lovers,

Kate Winspur, Melbourne, Australia

Why remove the sensuous fear of the unknown, the spark that results from knowing someone intimately yet not knowing them at all, the suprise of a secretly planned celebration, the liberty of reserving certain parts of your life just for you, and you alone?

Tim, London,

Very insightful article. It seems relatively commonplace, nowadays, for expressions of the above-mentioned disregard for another person's feelings and lack of repect. Why can't people "just" be straight with each other?

peter koeb, bournemouth, england

I agree with Lizeth. Men put women in a double bind - they want their wives to be groomed and gorgeous, but they balk at the cost. When they look at a well turned out woman in the street, they don't consider how much her hair and outfit cost, so why should I have to reveal the effort I go to?

Rachel, London,

Oh to be perfect. Honestly I am getting so sick of the puritanical world where very little indiscretion is criticised by the howling masses. This is the Crucible revisited 21st century. I am even starting to feel sympathy for Max Mosely. We are human. We don't need all this guilt in body or in mind.

dean, Sydney, Australia

Your partner's personality is instrumental in taking the decision to fib. If you know the other half is going to flip over the smallest thing, why go through the hassle? Conversely, there are probably a lot of things that you would find trivial but your parther quite serious.
Relationships eh?

Rob, Harrow, United Kingdom

Yes, tell your partner everything, and see what it gets you. What's much worse than lying is promise-breaking, and that may require no lies at all.

Kevin Straw, Leicester,

When you catch someone out in a lie, even if it's over something apparently trivial, you do wonder what else they have been lying to you about. Lying can poison a relationship - once you find out that someone is a liar, the trust is broken for ever and you never really feel the same about them.

L J, london, uk

sometimes when you live with a controlling husband you lie and hope to get away with it, because the hassle of telling him everything and then have to justify it to his way of thinking, is so exhausting, that you would take the risk.

lizeth, london,

Ahh, but what happens when you have tried honesty, expecting your partner to be understanding and supportive of an action that you had not had the chance to discuss beforehand, and you get a slap in the face (figuratively)? I've tried it, it makes you think twice about total honesty next time.

DL, London,

I totally agree with this article. I have in the past made the mistake of not intentionally being deceitful to my partner but not expressing the whole truth behind an issue. I have found that this has caused more problems then total honesty.

Rebecca Wardle, Nottingham,

I never lie to my boyfriend. Ever. I couldn't dream of it. Even if I was getting a face lift. I mean, I understand why she felt she needed to lie, but me personally I'd just say "I'm getting old!" and do it. Relationships are based on trust and she should have trusted her hubby would understand.

Seetal Udeshi, London, UK,