Suzi Godson

Some men develop fetishes or compulsions about their penis, but chopping off the foreskin is never a constructive solution. What your partner chooses to do with his John Thomas is really his business and unless there is an underlying medical concern, such as his foreskin being overly tight, he doesn't need to talk to a doctor.

Circumcision is not a decision to be taken lightly. The foreskin makes up about half the mobile skin system of the penis and it is estimated that an adult male who is circumcised as a baby loses almost 36 per cent of his penile shaft skin, more than 240ft of nerves and between 10,000 and 20,000 erotogenic nerve endings.

Fortunately, the procedure is generally confined to faith groups and medical necessity. Pro-circumcision groups argue that circumcision protects against infection, but the NHS stopped routine infant circumcision in 1949 on the ground that it provided no notable health benefits. This decision was probably influenced by an essay published the same year, The Fate of the Foreskin, by Douglas Gairdner, which revealed that between 1942 and 1947 about 16 children in England and Wales had died every year as a result of circumcision.

I'm embarrassed to have sex when I'm sober

A reader who hadn't had sex in a long time has a new boyfriend but has to drink to loosen up. Our sex experts advise

Background

• Do I need protection during oral sex?

• Does size matter?

• My boyfriend wants doggy style sex in front of a mirror

• I'm turned on by my wife breastfeeding

• I eye up women when my wife isn't around

There are far fewer deaths now but getting faith groups to address the human rights aspects of snipping off a child's genitals without consent, or anaesthetic, is an uphill struggle.

The number of circumcisions is declining but pro-circumcision groups have latched on to the results of three African studies, which found that circumcision lowers the risk of HIV infection by about 55 per cent because Langherans cells, which have been implicated in its transmission, are removed with the foreskin. Health proessionals, however, argue that circumcised men still contract the virus; circumcision offers no direct protection to female partners; the men who were circumcised were educated about safe sex while the others were not; the message discourages the practice of safe sex; and desensitivity in the penis decreases the likelihood of men using condoms. Dr John Dean, a specialist in sexual medicine, has been quoted as saying: “Circumcision may be appropriate as a routine preventive measure in regions that have a high rate of HIV infection, such as sub-Saharan Africa, but the existing evidence is inadequate to recommend circumcision as an HIV-preventive measure in the UK.”

I'd say. Particularly in light of work by the American skin sensitivity researcher Morris Sorrells, which suggests that the five areas most receptive to fine touch are routinely removed by circumcision.

Do your homework before saying anything to your partner. Start by reading The Lost List at norm.org/lost.html. Then see for yourself just how much of the penis is removed during circumcision at addicks3.fsnet.co.uk/nat/stiff/lostskin/lostskin.htm. Sometimes a picture is worth 1,000 words.

Suzi Godson is the author of The Sex Book (Cassell, £16.99) and The Body Bible (Penguin, £16.99)

Dr Thomas Stuttaford

When you chat to your boyfriend about his desire to keep his foreskin pulled back, have you tried to find the reason for this? Possibly correctly you realise that questions about a partner's sexual techniques or endowment are likely to be taken as adverse criticism and you have decided to say nothing. Men are more touchy about sexual performance than women, so you may have problems finding a tactful way of talking about this.

Your partner may believe that premature ejaculation results from sensitive skin on the glans, the head of the penis, because it is kept protected by the foreskin. He may suppose that retracting the foreskin so that the glans is exposed to the friction of his clothes may lessen sensitivity and prevent premature ejaculation.

The relationship between the sensitivity of the glans and time taken to ejaculate is much debated. There is a mass of hearsay and anecdotal evidence that circumcised men have less sensitive skin over their glans and are less likely to ejaculate prematurely. Large numbers of healthy, virile, over-excitable men have lost their foreskins in the hope that after having had this small operation they will be outstanding lovers. Certainly I have had patients who have asked for circumcision for this reason. I have arranged it and some, if not all, have been satisfied with the outcome.

Conversely, when scientists have tested the sensitivity of the skin of the glans of men who are premature ejaculators and compared their penile sensitivity to those who are able to perform at will, they have found little, if any, difference between the two groups. Furthermore, Masters and Johnson, in a well-known piece of research, found no difference in sensitivity between the circumcised and uncircumcised.

The truth is that a third of men say they suffer from premature ejaculation. This is probably an underestimate. No more than one man in four is able to keep going for longer than two minutes and less than 10 per cent of men manage 15 minutes.

Premature ejaculation is not a problem confined to anxious, twitchy, inexperienced lovers. It is equally often found in the athletic, raring-to-go young man. With age, the nerve supply to the penis begins to deteriorate and then most men can extend their performance time and ejaculate at will.

There are a few basic measures to take. You can have sex more frequently or your boyfriend can masturbate earlier in the day before meeting you. Both measures will lessen his desire and excitement. You can also ask him to think of something else that is boring but distracting when making love to you. Thoughts of tax bills or the price of petrol should do the trick.

Finally, warn your boyfriend that one of the more embarrassing but potentially hazardous emergencies occurs when a tight foreskin becomes irretrievably pulled back and the far end of the penis is strangled and becomes dangerously swollen. It is possible that, as your boyfriend's foreskin stays back so readily that this is just the type of problem that could affect him.

Dr Thomas Stuttaford, the Times doctor, spent many years working in a genitourinary clinic

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