Mrs Jones, you can't choose whom you fall in love with it, but you absolutely can choose what you do about it. Especially under the 'circumstance' that you both are married!

Heather, London,

so narrow minded some of the views of the people who have spoken on here are. I was dumped by my lover after a mind blowing 3 yr affair she thought it was the right thing to do.The affair changed my whole way of thinking.She 13 yrs my junior admits being cowardly, Get over it indeed I still love her

JR, York, UK

Why do people assume her husband is a victim? Taking your partner forgranted and not reminding them you love them makes the seemingly 'innocent' party just as much to blame when something like this happens. Affairs are usually a sign of something not going well in a relationship - which takes two.

Nicky, Grampian, UK

She should not leave Simon, she should focus on mending her relationship with him (and never admit the affair) for the sake of her child, The child is the innocent party here, and should not be forced to suffer for the sake of his/her selfish, insecure mother's self-created emotional "turmoil".

Gavin, Leith, Edinburgh

I greatly sympathise with you. I also had a 'soulmate' relationship .Unfortunately it had to end and the pain is truly intense. I recommend you to read a very enlightening book :"Facing love addiction" by Pia Mellody.It helped me understand the source of this love addiction and find some peace.

Elli, Athens, Greece

Get over it.

jane, Whittlesey, UK

all this grief and hand wringing over an affair that lasted a few weeks and involved one sexual encounter? how ridiculously self indulgent! i reserve my sympathy for his poor wife, whose grief was no doubt compounded hugely by discovering that her beloved husband was not the man he pretended to be.

Vic, London,

It is very easy to judge someone when they've done something that we as a society deem to be wrong. You can't choose who you fall in love with. If you've never been in this situation, please don't condemn this person based on the story above. There are always circumstances we are unaware of.

Mrs Jones, Eleuthera,

I am with a man who is married, we love each other very much. His wife has known through the 20 years of marriage that he has been consistently unfaithful from day one. Although he has asked for a divorce she refuses. She should want to get on with her own life now. Some people refuse to leave!

Johanna, Dubai, UAE

Why can't our society allow people to have security and love? It is impossible for one person to be everything and all things.

Chris, Cleveland, Ohio, USA

With what i have been seeing and reading with my own eyes of the degrading manner in which childeren are acting today, is this story any suprise? After all, the children learn it from the adults. Expect to see this, and much more, in the future. You dont have to be a Christian zelot to see that.

William, Atlanta, USA

No sympathy whatsoever.

neil murphy, cromer,

It's comforting to see that it isn't just MEN that are capable of indulging rampant narcissism at the expense of a fellow human being or two. It's less comforting to see how successfully some people can make betrayal of a loved one (or at least of one who loves) look like some kind of noble act.

Ian, Washington, DC

In a world in which we are all encouraged to live life to the full you have done something quite understandable. Now you are hurt. You have a family - look at the future not the past: work at the relationships with your husband and your child, and be patient while you do. Be strong. I wish you luck.

Icarus, Sheffield,

Poor lady. Losing anyone you love is hard, regardless of whether or not you should have loved them. But I think you should be careful about putting Gregory on a pedestal. You loved him, but it is possible that in time you can love someone else just as much.

Louise, London,

You were not widowed. You and Gregory indulged yourselves in a selfish affair during which you undoubtedly lied to conceal. Now you indulge yourself in your grief, Simon does deserve the truth, However, your article shows how even now you hope for sympathy!

Andy, Worthing,

Hark at these love-less souls as they climb on their high-horses. This fine article is her one chance to grieve and to express her feelings. And you shout her down. Her problem isn't that she had a lover - it's with bigots who apply an emotionless "moral" judgement. Shame on you, not on the lovers

BB, Sevenoaks, UK

Self-indulgent, selfish, egotistical and immature. I have no patience with people who have affairs and then moan that they're the ones we need to pity because their fairy tale fell apart, and not the loyal innocents who have to live with the fallout.

alice, salado, tx/us

Leave Simon please, and let him have the chance to find happiness with a woman who really loves him and wont betray him.

Neil Marshall, doha, qatar

He was the typical fantasy lover - attractive and without any of the day-to-day concerns of a real relationship.

All she's doing is rationalizing their betrayals of their marriages. Hopefully her husband will find out before she does this again - which she will.

John Kantor, St. Petersburg, United States

I've read dozens of articles in the Times from or about women who dislike and/or mistreat their husbands. I only recall one article by a woman who seemed to actually love her husband. It's kind of dispiriting. Any chance we could focus on the positives from time to time?

Malcolm , London, uK

Leaving Simon will also give him the chance to find someone who really loves him. Right now you're denying him that chance. Surely we're all entitled to the opportunity to find someone who loves us? But why would you tell him about the affair? That would only seem to pointlessly hurt him even more.

David Space, London, uK