Dear Kathy

Q My girlfriend and I have incompatible views on the ideal holiday. Her idea of bliss is a small tent in a field. She thinks cooking sausages in the rain is fun. It’s not; it’s hell. What’s wrong with a comfortable hotel and a view? I’ve tried to compromise but I can’t. Is our relationship doomed?

DB, 34, London

A Of course not — you just need to stand your ground. You’re obviously not happy-camper material. Persuade your girlfriend to go camping with like-minded friends while you enjoy your home comforts. You wouldn’t want to spoil her fun — and she won’t be around to spoil yours.

Alternatively, manipulate her into coming round to your point of view. Go along cheerfully on the next trip but secretly sabotage the mission. Prick holes in the airbed. Empty the milk carton and fill it with sour milk. Buy a tinny transistor radio on eBay and set it playing death metal just the other side of the canvas at 3am. When your girlfriend cracks, you can save the day by taking her to the nearby luxury hotel you skilfully picked out earlier. If none of this stops her enjoyment, she must indeed be binned.

Dear Kathy

Q I can’t stand the way my wife drives our car. She clips the corners of kerbs, goes too fast over speed bumps, is frequently in the wrong gear — and that’s when she’s not swerving to avoid people or cyclists. When I point out that she’s going to kill us both, she accuses me of being aggressive, and if I insist on driving, she says I’m being a chauvinist.

GN, 33, Oxford

A What’s worse — being a chauvinist or being dead? There’s an easy solution: buy her a car of her own. Just don’t use phrases like “a little runaround” or your sexist reputation will be firmly cemented. And what about your own driving habits — are they impeccable? Or do you notice her turning white when you overtake near the brow of a hill? More to the point, is your constant bickering a sign that something more serious is wrong? If a relationship is heading for the rocks, it’s going to show up in the car during those little discussions about navigation.

Dear Kathy

Q My girlfriend has horrible sleeping habits. When she’s awake, she’s well mannered, pretty and considerate. As soon as her head hits the pillow, she turns into another creature altogether. She snores like a pig and tosses and turns like an elephant. Then she asks me why I’m so grumpy in the mornings. And we’re supposed to be getting married.

HM, 25, Carlisle

A Are you her first boyfriend? Does she have no clue she’s a difficult sleeping companion? Can you suggest separate bedrooms? “Elephant”; “pig”: these are not words of love. And you think you might marry this woman? Believe me, if you don’t sort this out, sleep deprivation and resentment will quickly take their toll. Brutal honesty: it’s the only way forward.

Write to Kathy at tough@sunday-times.co.uk